So I get to check off, “Rush to the Hospital in a Panic Over the Baby” off my To Do while Pregnant list! ((Spoiler alert, everything’s okay.))
Saturday morning was going to be spent in a jovial state; my friend and I had made plans to drive down to see the world’s largest pistachio. It’s not too far away from us, like three hours, and I figured any little road trips like this need to happen before I have the baby since I’m pretty sure my schedule is gonna be pretty hectic and different after the fact.
I woke up early on Saturday, got ready and away we went! And of course it was oh… About halfway there that I realized that I hadn’t felt the baby move at all since the night before. Normally this little one is very active early in the mornings. I’ve long gotten past the being able to sleep in phase of my life because the Early Morning Internal Gymnastics Routine is pretty damn punctual for someone who doesn’t have access to a watch or smart phone. So it was weird that I hadn’t felt anything yet.
I tried to calm the shrieks of panic in my head and focused very intently and very quietly on my uterus, feeling for even the smallest little flutter or motion. When I didn’t feel anything for half an hour I got impatient and poked and prodded at my stomach, determined to wake baby up if indeed it turned out they were merely sleeping.
For once, baby was in the front of my uterus instead of skulking in the back, practicing for their teenage years. I was able to clearly feel a limb of some sort through my flesh. But poke or press as I may I couldn’t feel the baby move or react to my pestering at all. It was around then that all rational thought flew out my brain and I went, “Hey, I think I need to call my doctor.”
And of course we were in a long, desolate stretch of road. The kind of road that is the Land of No Cell Phone Service. My friend was all politeness and understanding as she turned the car around so we could drive back towards the city and the precious, precious cell phone towers.
I called and described what I was experiencing and the on call doctor told me it would be good to come in so I could get strapped to a monitor. My friend magically got us back to the city in almost half the time it took us to leave it without speeding too horribly or killing us all in a wreckage of twisted, burning metal.
I got to the hospital, sat down in the bed, lifted my shirt, got the monitor strapped on and then my baby went, “HOLY HELL I HATE THESE THINGS.” *punch*kick*squirm*wiggle*back flip*pirouette*
I was only there for about half an hour, all things considered. They had me chug some juice and water just to make sure I wasn’t low blood sugar or dehydrated and so they could monitor all the baby’s movements. I got to watch my baby violently kick the monitors through my tummy as I sipped cranberry juice and tried to recover from the adrenaline crash.
Babies really do have a tendency to hate the Doppler and the like and since my baby kept trying to run away from the dang thing (Keep it up while you can! You will only run out of space more as you get bigger!) the nurse kept having to come in to readjust the monitor so the heartbeat was audible.
I’m pretty sure that if my baby could talk they would have said something like, “Geeze mom, just because I choose to sleep in once doesn’t mean I’m dead or anything! Gawd you make such a big deal out of everything!”
I’m glad everything was okay and I’m glad no one made me feel silly or like I had overreacted for coming in. In fact everyone who dealt with me: the triage nurse, my actual nurse, and the doctor, all made a point to say that they would much rather prefer that I call and come in if something feels wrong or off than to not. I appreciated that because no one wants to be treated like a nuisance when they’re concerned about health related anything; baby or not.
So no giant pistachio for me. But I still got to spend the day with a good friend; a good friend who didn’t make a big deal out of turning around and said I had been very calm and collected through the whole thing. (Which is amazing because I felt like a complete wreck on the inside. Yay bluffing!) July 1st is narrowing in and I can’t believe it’s coming in so fast.